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Search Results 0 to 27 of about 28 (some duplicates have been removed)
Comedy Central
Nov 28, 2012 11:00pm PST
is going to be joining us. (cheers and applause) we begin tonight with the attacks on the u.s. consulate in benghazi, libya. it was a tragic situation where american lives were lost and in the three months since the attack, legitimate questions of adequate embassy security, americas overall advocacy in fighting the war on terror and the intricate dance between national security confidentiality and the public's right to know have all been distilled down, thrown out and replaced with this one urgent conclusion concerning current u.s. ambassador to united nations susan rice. >> i will do everything in my power to black her from being the united states secretary of state. she's not qualified. >> jon: that's senator john mccain continuing his seven year quest to negate every good thing he'd ever done prior to that. (laughter) this time leading the charge to preempt as an of now hypothetical obama nomination for secretary of state to replace hillary clinton. why? because five days after the benghazi attacks, susan rice went on the sunday talk shows and said this: . >> the best assessment we ha
Comedy Central
Nov 12, 2012 11:00pm PST
on him. is that how they found out about this? >> law enforcement and multiple u.s. officials tell nbc news that emails between him and paula broadwell, his biography were indicative of an extra marital affair. >> jon: really? email? all they had to do to nab america's spy-master general is log to his email? we can intrigue that little sound bite up a little bit? >> law enforcement and multiple u.s. officials tell abc news that emails between him and paula broadwell his biographer were indicative of an extra marital affair. >> jon: how exciting. wait. ( cheers and applause ) the woman involved is petraeus' biographer paula broadwell. why does that name seem so familiar to me? please welcome to the program paula broadwell. no, no, that's not it. oh, wait. that is it. by the way, in case anyone out there thought i may have actual journalist instincts, i give you a quick snippet of my interview. >> he's a very high-energy person. he loves serving. he loves to be in the arena >> i thought i would test him but he would test me. >> crushed his pelvis. it was back in the swimming pool. from a
Comedy Central
Nov 13, 2012 11:00pm PST
in nature and -- >> jennifer working with our producer there. >> this just in that a senior u.s. defense official does tell us that the e-mails with jill kelley and general allen were flirtatious in nature. (laughter). >> jon: you broke into the broadcast for that? this just in! the captain of the varsity football team jeremy winters is believed to have -- what's that? yes, i am getting confirmation! he totally (bleep) tammy blankenship under the bleachers. what's that? marsha says so as well? that's two sources. (laughter) by the way, we haven't even got on the the most amazing fact about these flirtatious e-mails. >> the f.b.i. has turned over 20,000 to 30,000 pages of documents found during the probe. many are e-mails between allen and kelley sent over the last two years. >> 30,000 pages of e-mails? i can understand that if stephen king and george r.r. martin were having an affair. (laughter) those are some prolific mother (bleep)ers. (laughter) but there's a fine line between seduction and spamming someone. (laughter) i don't think i've got than many e-mails ever and i was on the oba
Comedy Central
Nov 6, 2012 11:00am PST
rye root in the u.s. again. we have a bunch of cities where workers are trained in machinery and advanced manufacturing and companies are starting to look maybe we in-source instead of out-source but we'll have to change the tax code to make sure there's a strong case. >> jon: if congress was obstinate before won't they still be there or do you get to at some point there, and i'll throw a phrase out there, abracadabra. so if their o obstinnance creat the problem how do we change that? >> maybe we can get democrats elected and change it back. number two, when you look at some of the things we need to look let's say in the first year, 2013, we need things balanced. it will be settled one way or another next year. the question is do we do it in a balanced responsible way or not asking millionaires and billionaires to pay a dime of taxes to preserve education. >> jon: wait, this is the first time i'm hearing about billio billionaires. what are you doing us? >> jon? >> jon: no, i'm going float to commercial and we'll have a conversation. we do have to go to >> jon: welcome back. h
Comedy Central
Nov 7, 2012 11:00pm PST
, the president of the u.s.a., the united states of arithmetic, nate silver will be joining us ( cheers and applause ) it was a big night last night. the big news, of course, president barack obama not just re-elected but seemingly given fresh batteries. >> we remain more than a collection of red states and blue states. ry are and forever will be the united states of america. and together, with your help, and god's grace, we will continue our journey forward. ( laughter ). >> jon: so that's all it took for to you get back in the groove was the fact that you never have to run for president again? ( laughter ) that's all it took? ( cheers and applause ) of course, on the other side, governor mitt romney broke the bad news to his supporters before reluctantly being asked to pose for his family's yearly christmas card. ( laughter ). that is a good-looking bunch. it's like they-- the people that came in the frames. across the nation, the people spoke, legalizing gay marriage in maine and maryland. legalizing marijuana in washington state, and colorado-- ( cheers and applause ) gay marriage.
Comedy Central
Nov 7, 2012 12:00am PST
their entire fleet. - yeah, well, he's from a lawless country. - there's no laws. here in the u.s., you gotta work within the system. okay, if you want a handicap parking pass, you gotta go out and get a handicap parking pass. you gotta beat the system up from the inside. like rappers with vaginas. like, because they beat 'em. - yeah. - whatever it takes, man. i just don't want to get another ticket. i mean, is it weird if we made up a handicap, like, a disease? what's the disease that old people get where you start forgetting things? what is that? - old timers. - yeah, still, i don't know if that's a good idea. it's not cool to pretend you're handicapped. right? - whoa! i got it. telamericorp is hiring, right? we can ask our real-life handicapped cousin devin to work here, and use his pass! - yeah. that'll work. - all right. - i haven't seen him in a while, though. i'm excited to see him. he couldn't come to thanksgiving because my grandma's house has stairs, and he can't walk up stairs! [laughing] oh, man, that guy. - oh, jeez! are there cats everywhere? [cats meowing] - [whispers] devin? -
Search Results 0 to 27 of about 28 (some duplicates have been removed)